Going through what I went through has left it's marks. Granted all things should heal in some time, but they are more than just annoying. I have huge canker sores from biting the sides of my cheeks. I literally bit holes in my mouth. The pain of biting down so much made me want to move my jaw to the side in the hopes of relieving the feeling, although all it really did was relocate the issue. I have oral anesthetic that I am applying constantly because they sting like hell especially when I eat. These are not small. I am still waking up awfully early after sleeping maybe 6 hours. The muscle stimulant is clearly still in my system to some degree. Obviously my muscles ache, too. One of the paramedics had said he feels real bad for people who have dystonic reactions because "they just can't relax". Every muscle was as stiff as a brick and now they feel about that heavy. For something that was supposed to help it sure did the polar opposite. Even though the ocean is a powerful beast, it felt good to be buoyant. It's the best relief I can get aside from a massage. I wish I could take a long vacation here. It's very relaxing to hang out with my relatives and I know stress is a killer but we live in such a stressful world. I have worked very hard to regain good standing in school even though I am still struggling physically. The best we've been able to do is "stabilize" me. We really haven't fixed anything. My appetite is starting to wane again as I knew it would. The best part about being here is I have more distractions. I can take photographs and explore new places without too much effort. I love the smell of the air. I have a really dry throat but that's yet another symptom I continually have already. In the back of my mind I wonder if Cushing's will come back. When I get hormonal, or use the bathroom a lot, can't sleep, or feel famished, it feels like it's coming back. Doctors act as though it couldn't possibly come back. I know better than to believe every word they say. Or I'm going to develop another endocrine problem (probably something autoimmune). I am basing these theories off of genetics and what I know from other people's stories. The most prominent idea being that my nerves are shot. As for California, I am enjoying showing some love to the horses at my aunt's ranch and her cat with the thyroid disorder. I am very akin to them in comparison to how I used to feel about horses especially. From a young age I've been scared to ride them because they are so bumpy. I am also less scared of chickens!
What do you suppose the chances are that this horse has Cushing's?
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