Hey, ya'll. I've been busy studying and dealing with the return of pretty consistent nausea. I've begun to wonder if I'm always going to have to feel compromised health wise. Am I just going to have to give up anything that triggers heartburn and stomach cramps? I still barely eat. I try to and I just can't do more than half a sandwich. Reading, writing, even watching television can give me a headache along with general sickness now, too. I'm getting one as I type. Sleeping capabilities remain decent, although I can never sleep long enough. I bought benadryl, pepto bismal, aleve, and refilled my nausea medication. I shouldn't feel the need to buy these things. Most of them don't even work fully. In good news, I lost a few more pounds? 135, baby! Still don't like wearing a two-piece swimsuit or barring my legs. I finally bought a bra that fits. What an improvement that makes! I am starting to wonder if I'll ever lose the hanging flab despite weighing so much less. When I used to weigh 135, I didn't have a belly or pudgy hips. It's like I'm shrinking all in one area, which is mostly just making me feel disproportionate. Anyway, I like marine life and love watching the show Tanked. It's a show where they build customized tanks and are pretty much the coolest things I've ever seen. They often have a theme. I started wondering what a Cushing's themed tank could be like! I have no idea what kind of shape it could be (I don't know if they could shape it to look like an organ or something), but I started looking up fish that reminded me of my illness.
The Geometric Pgymy Hawkfish immediately caught my attention. It reminds me of red blood cells. Cushing's is about what flows in your veins- Cortisol being the main thing. According to Petco it is semi-aggressive and is relatively new to the industry. So is the rising number of Cushing's patients. It also reminds me of what happened to my skin. The red face, patchy/dry scalp, all the stretch marks that will never fully fade. This guy is a poster guppy for that!
Then there's the koran fish. I was trying to find a fish that looked like a zebra. There might be better candidates out there since it doesn't mesh with the other? Maybe a school of zebra looking fishies. What I found interesting about this fish is it changes appearance as it matures. That reminds me a lot of Cushing's. How we change, and hopefully, become more like ourselves again after treatment. And any Cushie knows that zebras are our mascot. We are not the typical horse. I am guessing something like a banded butterfly fish would be better. That one is all B&W and easier to care for.
This was suggested by the site I was looking at because it would get along with the hawkfish. I thought it looked like a white blood cell! My immune system acted like it was constantly fighting something when I had Cushing's. Before surgery I took antibiotics since I seemed to be getting a cold, but even when it was clear I'd beaten the sniffles, my white blood count was still high. It suggested snails, hermit crabs, or little green chromis, as well. They could be good in a group. I like the blue ones I saw more. That reminds me of the flowing blood inside our bodies, too.
When I saw the name of this one, I thought "too perfect!". It's a teardrop butterfly! Since I seem to be leaning towards a reef tank, I couldn't have him, but that is an adorable name and very Cushie. It would match the other butterfly fishes I want for a zebra feel. I wonder if there's another fish similar to him for a reef setting. Which is easier? Marine or reef tanks? Anyway, one of the worst parts about this disease was the constant emotional stress I felt. It was tear city 24/7.
The only aquarium I can afford is the one above and I did in fact buy it the other day! Even if I had a few thousand dollars to waste, I'd use it for some loan payments. Maybe I can build a cool aquarium someday. I also want a piano. It is a bit of a fun exercise either way!
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