Continuing to feel like a fish out of water! R.I.P. Dexterity

Recovery continues to be a drag when I try to do too much too quickly. I've gone back to my original dose of Cortisol if I didn't already mention that. I have to admit I feel better energy-wise, but it goes to show this is going to take some time and it's not easy to shake the dependence on it. I lead a somewhat busy life, so it's hard to even get to a doctor. My digestive issues have gotten bad enough for me to worry from time to time if something is more than a little wrong. I went swimming this weekend and that went okay. But I encountered something very frustrating when I decided to use the diving boards. I was shocked when my friend's scale said I lost another 10lbs. I thought it was lying. The reason I didn't believe it is because my skin still hangs quite a bit. When I got measured for my musical costume, they asked me what my bra size is and I didn't know what to say. I told them a size bigger than what I'm wearing, because what I currently wear doesn't fit right. Anyway, with the shrinking of my flab, I was excited to do some old tricks off the high dive like I used to. I took 13 years of gymnastics, so it's fun for me to do flips and the like. Ironically, a fellow Cushie said "she'd be doing cartwheels" if she lost as much weight as I have. It's not about the numbers though. It's the way I look in general. And it's not that I look bad but I want to be the me I used to be. A friend commented that I look like I haven't been eating. I told him this is the way I'm supposed to look considering my diet and habits. He's just never seen it. I got up to the top of the high dive and it was HIGH. I'm not scared of heights, I didn't have my glasses on, but it wasn't the height that bothered me. I was wobbly, unbalanced. It took all I could to not fall instead of jump. I tried more than once to get up there and do a flip, but it was no use. For me, it was very disheartening. I used to be so agile and fit like a monkey. I can't describe how sad I was. Being fit has always been apart of who I am. Only 2 years ago I could've done that easily and enjoyed it. There's a freedom when you can float in the air like that, yet I just felt like I was plummeting clumsily to my death every time. My coordination and my confidence is shot in regards to working my body the way I want to. Also, my mom has figured out what probably happened to me when I fainted. We think I was hypoglycemic. She said it makes you really hungry (which had been my main complaint beforehand), it gives you the digestive problems I'm having, and alcohol is a big no-no. I had a few beers before it happened. That's why it took the paramedics so long to believe I hadn't had more than I said. My pulse was also ridiculously high! Low Glucose links directly to low Cortisol. It makes perfect sense. She reminded me that my protein levels were below normal last time they checked, too. This only proves how healthy I am normally. With a small stock of adrenaline, I'm overly healthy. Maybe I would be doing better if I was used to this at all. It's finals week and then I'm going to take some online summer courses. Was glad to see that as an option, although my computer seems to be overheating a lot. Ta-ta from the Barrister of Munchkinland!