Monday, April 9, 2012

"Define a recognized disease", says the duck


Two things: my autistic sister got a lot more tests done and I am still what you call a "sitting duck". My Endocrinologist said it was okay to take my pills in lower doses each day, but asked me if I'd done anything about my stomach problems yet. I really wish that would just fix itself. The last thing I want to do this summer is get a tube stuck down my throat! And who knows if it's my stomach per se. Maybe it's my gallbladder. Or my liver. I have no idea. How long am I going to have to just sit around waiting to get better? That's the problem. Cushing's doesn't just get better if I haven't made that clear. From what I hear, I'm bound to have something else to deal with in the future. Anyway, the Endocrinologist said the oddest thing to my mom today when she mentioned POCS. He said, "Well, you know, some doctors don't even recognize that as a separate disease". As in, it's caused by obesity. Why does that sound so much like what people think about Cushing's, hmmm? I am just confused because I thought POCS was a rather well recognized thing, considering what happened with that girl advocating for birth control insurance. Why are doctors so quick to think something isn't real? Even if it is real, there isn't much we can do? Okay. How do you know that until you TRY? My sister isn't even eating that much anymore and she's sleeping a lot. If it's not Cushing's, and it's not this apparently unrecognized Ovarian syndrome, then what is it? Sounds like they tested various chemicals in her blood, so I suppose she's a sitting duck, too. Just a family of poor misguided ducks. The other sister is supposed to see her old autoimmune doctor and get her thyroid rechecked. My mom feels like all she does is go to specialists. Personally, I feel like I'm getting the same exhaustion from Cushing's all over again. Just want to sleep all the time, even when I can't fall asleep. My mind wants my body to run all around. I wish I could listen to it. I'm hungry. I wish food made it better. I also wish this semester would just hurry up. I am done, for now. I'm going to raise my GPA and then figure this crap out. I really want to be in this upcoming community musical. I'm sure I'll audition no matter what, although I doubt my capabilities right now. I always seem to miss out on these types of experiences. Maybe I'll get to be in the chorus at least, but I want to get the lead. I want to feel well enough to do that! Why must the duck sit? WHY MUST THE DUCK SIT?

2 comments:

  1. Hi Vanessa.

    Just wanted to pop by and offer my support on your blog. Go for that audition! I sing and it means a lot to me, so I hope you will be able to pursue your passion despite your illness.

    All the best,

    Cat

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